Space Predator
by FekketCantenel
Summary: The long awaited chapter 3 is in! Yukina, Yusuke, Keiko and Kuwabara go RVing in Europe and get attacked by aliens! Kurama is in the story now, and Hiei's coming soon, I swear!
1. Part 1

Cast of Characters: Me (FekketC) - the insane elf-girl!  
  
Amaya - my best friend and lover of Kurama!  
  
Kurama - no introduction neccessary (unless you came here by accident)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, or the actually not-bad movie "Space Predator". True Mystery Science Theater 3000 material, but it kept me entertained. And it allowed me to curse you with this fic! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA...  
  
Kurama: Do you think she'll stop laughing?  
  
Me: ...HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA...  
  
Amaya: Not likely. *slaps me* Hurry up and do the fic! Kurama will be in it, right?  
  
Me: Um, well... heh, heh...  
  
Amaya: WHAT?! HOW CAN A FIC NOT HAVE MY KURAMA IN IT?!  
  
Kurama: Now, now, it's alright...  
  
Me: Fine, fine! He'll be in it, but he'll get eaten!  
  
Amaya: Okay!  
  
Kurama: Oro?!  
  
Me and Amaya: On with the fic!  
  
Space Predator  
  
By FekketC (with help from Amaya-chan)  
  
Part 1  
  
January 19, 1988 - Spain releases a satellite into orbit, dubbed 'Project Quixote'. Satellite will use specimens of extra-terrestrial DNA found on the moon (don't ask me) to recreate the aliens, without endangering the people of earth  
  
May 21, 1988 - my idiot ex-boyfreind is born. Screw him. (Amaya: You're getting off-track.  
  
Me: Shut up already.  
  
Kurama: I won't really be eaten, right?  
  
Me: No promises.)  
  
February 14, 1995 - Project Quixote's orbit deteriorates and it crashes in the hills of Spain - two casualties, both bovine - and the experiments are retreived and held in a research center near the crash site.  
  
Caption: Five years later.  
  
~the scene: a dark feild at night. A large cow is walking by, mooing under the full moon. (Get it? Mooing, and the moon? I kill myself. Amaya: Not if I kill you first.)~  
  
~there is a movement (moo-vement? Amaya: Shut up!) in the bushes, and the cow looks up. There is a shrill growling, the sight of fangs dripping with blood, and the cow's terrified moo that is cut off. For a moment only the moon is in view, then suddenly rock music starts to play as the title comes up, "Space Predator". (Amaya: Space Predator? What an idiot!)~  
  
~the scene is now the inside of an RV, the camera set on the dashboard. Through the windsheild we see Yusuke is driving and about to nod off, while Kuwabara, riding shotgun, is jamming to the radio and singing along~  
  
Kuwabara: I LIKE THAT OLD TIME A'ROCK AND ROLL! THE KIND OF MUSIC JUST SOOTHES THE SOUL! I REMINISCE ABOUT THE DAYS OF OLD, WITH THAT OLD TIME A'ROCK AND ROLL!!! Come on, Urameshi, sing along- Yusuke, wake up!  
  
Yusuke: Huh? Wha? Oh, uh, yeah. What time is it?  
  
Kuwabara: *checks his watch* 3 AM.  
  
~the song '3 AM' starts to play on the radio~  
  
Kuwabara: Creepy.  
  
Keiko: *pops up behind them* Hello!  
  
Yusuke: Gah! *almost swerves off the road* Keiko!  
  
Keiko: You guys hungry?  
  
Kuwabara: What's for dinner?  
  
Yusuke: More like breakfast.  
  
Keiko: Hot dog omelets.  
  
Kuwabara: Where are we, anyway?  
  
Yusuke: Um... Dunno.  
  
Kuwabara: *checks the map* Oh, right, Spain. What the hell? Who wants to go to Spain?  
  
Keiko: Ah, Spain, home of the bull fighters, flamenco dancing, and spicy food!  
  
Kuwabara: Oh, I'm going to have gas.  
  
Yukina: *appears behind Keiko, holding a frying pan* I made chili pepper surprise!  
  
Kuwabara: Oh, Yukina! Mm, let me have some of that!  
  
Yusuke: *turns around in his seat* I'll take a little-  
  
Keiko: YUSUKE, LOOK OUT!!!  
  
~Yusuke whirls around in his seat and slams the steering wheel to avoid a wolf standing on the road. For a moment the RV balances on its two right wheels, then rights itself and drives a few more feet. Yusuke slams on the brakes and sends everyone flying. The lights flicker out as everyone gets up~  
  
Yusuke (whispering): What the hell was that?!  
  
Keiko (whispering): It was a wolf!  
  
Kuwabara (whispering): Do you think we hit it?  
  
Kurama (whispering): Maybe I should go check.  
  
Yusuke (whispering): No, stupid, you're not in the story yet!  
  
Kurama (whispering): Oh, right. (Me: Amaya!  
  
Amaya: Kurama did it!)  
  
Keiko (whispering): Come on, Yusuke, go look.  
  
Yusuke (whispering): I'm not going out there!  
  
Kuwabara (whispering): I'm not-  
  
Yukina (whispering): Please, Kazuma?  
  
Kuwabara (whispering): Well, sure!  
  
Yusuke (whispering): Oh, fine. *as he and Kuwabara climb out of the RV* Why are we whispering?  
  
Kuwabara (whispering): I don't know.  
  
~While Yukina and Keiko stay in the RV Yusuke and Kuwabara split up to see if they hit the wolf~  
  
Kuwabara: There aren't any wolves in Spain, right, Urameshi?  
  
~silence~  
  
Kuwabara: Urameshi? Where- *notices something* What the... *kneels down next to the bloody corpse of the wolf* Gross. Well, there's the wolf. But- *jumps to his feet, screaming, when something touches him on the shoulder* AAAAHHHHHHH-  
  
Yusuke: AHHHHHHH-  
  
Both: AAAAAHHHHHH- *stare at each other*  
  
Kuwabara: The wolf's dead. Let's go back to the RV.  
  
Yusuke: Agreed.  
  
~from the wolf's corpse comes a short, low shriek and a spitting sound~  
  
Yusuke: Quickly! *he and Kuwabara run back to the RV and slam the door behind them*  
  
Keiko: Did you find it?  
  
Yusuke: Uh, no, it must've run away. Let's go.  
  
Kuwabara: I'm driving. *starts to get into the driver's seat*  
  
Yukina: Kazuma, your back!  
  
Kuwabara: *rips off his jacket and looks at the back - it's covered in blood*  
  
TO BE CONTIMOOED...  
  
Amaya: What a stupid peice of crap.  
  
Me: You're only saying that because Kurama's not in it.  
  
Amaya: Well, that's one of its many flaws.  
  
Kurama: I don't mind, really!  
  
Amaya: Just a sec, Yoko. Now come on and put him in the story already!  
  
Me: Fine, fine, I've already got a part for him, anyway. He appears in the next chapter, in fact!  
  
Amaya: Hooray! Write it, write it, write it!!!  
  
Me: Sorry, got to go do the dishes. *leaves*  
  
Amaya: WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  
  
Kurama: There, there. 


	2. Part 2 new formatting! Yaay!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, or the movie "Space Predator".  
Me: There, finished the dishes!  
Amaya: It's about time!  
Me: So, what did you two do while I was gone?  
Kurama and Amaya: *glance at each other* Nothing.  
Me: I'll choose to beleive that. Now, before I start I must thank the nice reviewers!  
Kurama: Re-what?  
Me: Reviewers are people who write to say how much they like the fic.  
Kurama: Ah. *reads reviews* 'Tomodachi', actually.  
Amaya: Whaddya know, someone actually liked the mooing. *hands Fekket a dollar bill*  
Me: Money! Yaaay! Thanks BT, Vash T.S. and Tiychan87 for reviewing! Now, on with the fic! 

**Space Predator  
By FekketC (with help from Amaya-chan)**  
_Part 2_

~the scene is an RV park, empty except for two RVs. One of them is the Team Urameshi one~

Yusuke: Ahhh... Who knew the prize at the Dark Tournament was a trip to Europe? I guess those guys have okay taste.

Yukina: Too bad Kurama and Hiei didn't want to come.

Kuwabara: I'd much rather have you than shorty!

Yusuke: Yeah, Keiko, I'd much rather have you than rose-boy. *starts to reach up Keiko's skirt*

Keiko: YUSUKE!!! *slaps him*

Yukina: I wish Hiei could've seen the Irish glaciers with us. He would've liked that, I think. *sigh*

Yusuke (who is the only one in the RV who knows about Hiei and Yukina): Oh, come on, no use wishing people who aren't here were here because after all they aren't here so... chips?

Keiko: *grabs a handful of chips, looking out the window* I wonder who owns that other RV.

Kuwabara: Probably some ugly Spanish people.

Keiko: Don't be prejudiced.

Kuwabara: You sound like my mom. And my sister.

Keiko: Whoever they are, they're coming this way!

Kuwabara: My mom and sister?!

Keiko: No, you moron, the women from the other RV!!!

Yusuke: Well, let's go meet them.

Kuwabara: What? They might try to suck our blood!

Yusuke: Shut up. *leads them out of the RV, where they stand until the three women approach and stop. The first has black hair and is wearing a preistess gown, the second is tall, wearing a violet kimono, and long black hair. The third is shorter than the other two, with short blackish-violet hair and wearing a white outfit*

Preistess: Hello. We just arrived here yesterday.

Kuwabara: We got here last night. *introduces himself and the others*

Preistess: I'm Kikyo, this is Megumi, and this is Meryl. We're the Annoying Anime Women club. Our fourth member, Faye, couldn't make it. Lung cancer.

Megumi: Just too bad, but we weren't going to give up our annual Europe trip for a little thing like that. *laughs annoyingly*

Meryl: Guys, we've got to get back to the RV.

Kikyo: Alright. Maybe I'll come by later and curse you guys.

Yusuke: That'd be fun. See ya.

~the three walk away~

Keiko: So, um, that was boring. And freaky. How about we go into town?

Yusuke: What town?

Keiko: That town. *points down the hill at a small Spanish village*

Yusuke: Oh, that town. Sure. Maybe we could eat at a real live Spanish resturant.

Kuwabara: I still say we should've gone to Japan for our vacation.

Yukina: But you live in Japan.

Kuwabara: Then I wish we'd stayed there.

~scene switch to the inside of a Spanish resturant. A man is sitting to one side, smoking a cigarette. In the background a chef is chopping the heads off chickens~

Cook: Alright, you're next.

Chicken: No! It's me, Kurama! Fekket turned me into a chicken! Amaya, help!

(_Amaya: Dumbass, get him out of there!  
Fekket: Fine._)

Chicken: Squawk!

(_Amaya: But he'll still be in this chapter, right?  
Me: Yes.  
Kurama: *reappears* *blinks* Now I remember why I'm a vegetarian.  
Amaya: My poor baby! *huggles him*  
Kurama: Please don't do that in front of Cantenel-san._)

~a man wearing a trenchcoat and a hat that hides his face walks into the resturant, carrying a suitcase. He sits down next to the other man~

First man: A beetle flies at sundown.

Second man (muffling his voice with his hand): But a pencil is sharpened at noon.

First man: Ah, so you're the agent they sent down. Mr...

Second: Please, call me Bara.

First: I am Mr. Dickinson. I have the victim ready for you to examine. I understand you're an expert in this feild.

Bara: If you mean the feild of exo-forensic study, then yes. *he gets up, Dickinson leads him out*

~outside, Yusuke pulls to a stop in the tiny rented car. He parks outside the resturant and everyone climbs out~

Yusuke: Fajitas for me! Oh, wait, I just remembered I need to get gas for the RV.

Kuwabara: Hey, I'll do it. You guys go ahead.

Keiko: I'll reserve a table. *walks towards the door, but it swings open and Dickinson bumps into her, knocking her roughly to the side*

Yusuke: Hey!

Keiko: I'm alright.

Dickinson: *keeps walking*

Yusuke: Hey, dumbass, get back here and apologize!

Keiko: Yusuke, it's alright- *stops when she feels a hand on her shoulder, turns to see Bara's shadowed face* *stares at him hard* Do I... know you?

Bara: *keeps walking*

Yukina: Come on, let's get a seat. *leads the way inside*

~inside all other tables are empty, so they choose a table with four chairs and sit down to wait for Kuwabara. The chef is gone, leaving his bloody chopping block by the door, but a waitress walks up and smiles sweetly at each of them~

Waitress: What can I get you?

Yusuke: *staring at everything but the woman's face, until Keiko slaps him* Um, four beers and some fajitas.

Waitress: Okay. *walks away, swinging her hips*

Yusuke: Anybody else get the feeling she was a hooker before she got this job?

Keiko: Yusuke! *slaps him*

(_Me: Come on! That was exactly my thought when I first saw the waitress in the movie! She's way too creepy to be a normal waitress anyway...  
Amaya: Just get back to my Kurama.  
Me: Huh? He isn't even in the story yet!  
Amaya: Can't fool me. Bara means 'rose' in Japanese.  
Me: Damn. Hoping it would be a surprise._)

~scene switch to the inside of a dark office. The door opens, and Dickinson steps inside. He doesn't bother to turn on the lights. He shows Bara in and closes the door behind them. Pointing to a table covered with a blanket he leans against the wall~

Dickinson: That, my friend, is - or rather, was - Agent Murry. He went down to the research center near the cow feild to get some samples. They found him like that just outside the gates of the town.

Bara: *pulls away the blanket, but the camera is set so that we cannot see the body* Interesting.

Dickinson: So tell me, my good man, why he appears to have had a football shoved down his throat and then ripped back out.

Bara: I think I'm going to be sick, just from your analogy.

Dickinson: *gets up, stands next to Bara looking down at the corpse* Answer the question.

Bara: Well-

~suddenly the corpse vibrates, and blood shoots out of the wound and all over Dickinson's shirtfront~

Bara: Okay, now I am going to be sick.

Dickinson: Not before me! *freezes* Did you hear that?

Bara: Sounded like someone outside.

Dickinson: I'll go check. *takes a gun from his pocket and goes out the door, closing it behind him*

Bara: *stands a long while, looking down at the body. We can only see his eyes, and they are worried* So Yusuke and the others are in town. I have to get them to leave, or else they'll be in the same danger as I am in now. But first, I need to get to this research center.

~scene switch to the inside of the resturant, Keiko sitting back and looking bored~

Keiko: Where's Kuwabara? And where's the food?

~the waitress reappears suddenly, her smile gone. In fact she looks gloomy, and suspicious of the three. She sets three platters of something brown and stringy on the table, and four glasses that look like muddy water. Turning she walks away, her steps no longer graceful~

Yusuke: Okay, that was creepy. *pokes a finger at the 'fajitas'* I'm not eating this crap.

~the door bursts open and Kuwabara dashes up, gasping for breath~

Kuwabara: Holy... crap... Guys, we have to get out of this town!

Yukina: What do you mean?

Kuwabara: *sits down, and before anyone can stop him grabs one of the glasses and downs a few gulps of what he thinks is beer* I was walking down the street, looking for a gas station, and I walked by this antiques shop. There was this little girl standing behind the glass door, looking out at me. So I smiled and waved, and she just stared at me. She had really big, kind of bloodshot eyes, and suddenly she grinned and her teeth were all bloody. I was getting freaked out, and then suddenly the door shattered and the glass went all over her. She had this huge peice embedded in her cheek, and she reached up and pulled it out and kept grinning at me.

Yusuke: So... did you get the gas?

Kuwabara: No, I did not get the freaking gas! There was a freaking-

~everyone looks up as the waitress suddenly appears. She is smiling, her eyes like glass, and a huge gash is open on her forehead. She sets a slip of paper on the table - the bill - and stands for a few seconds as the blood from her wound drips onto it. Finally she jerkily turns away and disappears into the kitchen~

~everyone is silent for a long while~

Keiko: Maybe the cook hit her.

Yusuke: Yeah, and then she came out here to show us.

Yukina: Let's go. Come on.

Kuwabara: Yeah, let's go. *ignoring the bill the four dash out the door, their food and drinks left untouched*

TO BE CONTINUED...

Amaya: Yay! Kurama is in the story!  
Me: I'm glad you're happy.  
Amaya: *hugs me* Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyoucan I be in it?  
Me: You're welcome- No!  
Amaya: Oh... I miss Kurama-chan.  
Me: You're the one who wanted him in the stupid fic!  
Amaya: But I want to be with him!  
Me: Go away.  
Amaya: Kurama-chan!!!


	3. Part 3 short one this time, I know

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, or the movie "Space Predator". I also do not own Scooby Doo (thank God!).  
Me: What is it going to take to get you to stop crying?!  
Amaya: *sobbing uncontrolably* B-but I m-miss K-K-Kurama so muuuuuch...  
Me: You've been crying since I ended the last chapter! That was, like, three months ago! *turns to reviewers* You may beat me now for the _insane_ delay.  
Reviewers: *beat Fekket with rusty things*  
Amaya: I'm s-sorry.  
Me: *gets up, rubs sore... um, everything* Well, the new chapter is in, and Kurama is in it.  
Amaya: Yay! *grabbing Kleenex after Kleenex to try and fix her face* I guess we got some more reviews?  
Me: *holds up list* Yep! Big thanks to UnknownDarkMystery, BT (yeah, she's Blak Tigir but I call her BT), and Amaya!  
Amaya: *blinks* I'm right here.  
Me: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! THE EVIL TWIN GOT LOOSE AGAIN!!!  
Amaya: *blink* Evil twin?  
Me: Pretend I didn't say that out loud. *sitting in a revolving chair* Here in the little town of Mahala, Spain-  
Amaya: Mahala is Hebrew for... something.  
Me: So? As I was SAYING, here in Mahala, these four travellers are about to embark on an amazing and terrifying journey! And who is this cucumber- Uh, wait-  
Amaya: HE IS NOT A CUCUMBER!!!!!  
Me: I MEANT 'NEWCOMER'!!!  
Amaya: You don't have to yell.  
Me: *sigh* And who is this newcomer, with long red hair and a stunning revelation?  
Amaya: My little Kurama-chan! Let's get things started! Gundam Finals Set!  
Both: READY, GOOOOOO!!! 

**Space Predator  
By FekketC (with help from Amaya-chan)**  
_Part 3_

~back to the scene with Yusuke, Kuwabara, Keiko and Yukina, running out of the resturant and across the street. Yukina's shoelace gets caught on something in the street, and she kneels to try and loosen it. Suddenly, the Mystery Mobile is careening towards her! The windsheild covered with dirt and grime, so that they cannot see the driver~

Yukina: *staring in terror at the headlights*

~the Mystery Mobile pulls to a stop inches from Yukina's face. Kuwabara rushes out and grabs her, breaking the shoelace and carrying her off the street. As soon as they are out of the way the Mystery Mobile drives off, leaving Yukina whimpering in Kuwabara's arms~

Yusuke: Okay, that was freaky.

Keiko: Can we PLEASE just get the HELL out of here! *the four pile into the car and drive off*

~scene switch to the front of an old, old castle in the country. A car pulls up out front, and Bara and Mr. Dickinson climb out~

Bara: This is the research center?

Dickinson: Yep. Took half our funding, but it's all ours. Well, after one more payment.

(Amaya: That's a prophecy right there.  
Fekket: Or Murphy's Law.  
Amaya: We'll see.)

Bara: Let's get going. *the two walk across the drawbridge and enter the castle*

~scene switch to the inside of a laboratory with an elevator to one side. Bara and Dickinson appear, wearing astronaut suits~ (Amaya: Aren't those called containment suits?  
Me: Oh, what the hell.)

~Dickinson takes a card from the pocket of his ASTRONAUT SUIT, and presses it to a panel next to the elevator. The doors slide open~

Elevator: Welcome, mister C. Dickinson. *elevator music starts to play as the two go down*

Bara: Why exactly are we wearing these suits?

Dickinson: After losing one shirt to those critters, I'm not about to risk another.

Bara: Yes, but white after Labor Day?

Dickinson: Shut up. *the two get off on the ninth floor, in a huge warehouse. Dickinson leads the way to a manhole, which after a moment's effort slides open to reveal a ladder leading down*

Bara: Why couldn't you just have the elevator lead to that floor?

Dickinson: Shut up, it's cooler this way. *turns on radio playing the Mission Impossible theme* *climbs down*

~the scene is now a large, well-lit white room with a broken TV set and some old magazines stacked against the wall. On the wall is a ladder, and we see Dickinson and then Bara climb down~

Dickinson: There.

Bara: Um, why exactly are we here?

Dickinson: I, uh... can't remember.

Bara: *anime annoyed face* We came all this way to look at your unfinished basement?! (Amaya: Oh, he looks so cute like that!  
Me: Please be quiet.)

Dickinson: Hold on, it'll come to me... Oh yeah! *picks up canister leaning against the wall* You see, though you can't feel it through your suit it is actually 900 degrees Farenheit in here. That's, uh... really hot in Celcius, too. This canister is filled with the strongest strain of the alien disease.

Bara: Hold on, I thought the aliens eat people.

Dickinson: They do. But first they infect them.

Bara: *blinks* What?

Dickinson: Don't you ever watch sci-fi movies?! Now, 900 degrees Farenheit will keep the virus neutral. It can't attack people. Even if I dumped out this canister on the floor, the virus would just sit there.

Bara: Ah.

Dickinson: Once you take the canister out of this room, you have about a day before the virus gets so pissed that it breaks out. That's why we keep it in here.

Bara: So, what do we do with this pure virus?

Dickinson: Well, we- Ow, my stomach.

Bara: Ear infections have been going around lately.

Dickinson: No, you idiot, it's the alien!

Bara: Say what?!

Dickinson: When the blood spurted all over me, it must have released the virus into my bloodstream! Quick, kill me before I turn into an alien!

Bara: But I thought the alien- Ah, never mind. Are you sure it's not ringworm?

Dickinson: I'm sure.

Bara: Bad cheese?

Dickinson: Sure ain't.

Bara: Boogie fever?

Dickinson: Probably not.

Bara: Oh, fine. ROSE WHIP LASH!!! Well, I didn't want to do that.  
(Amaya: How'd he get his rose out if he was wearing a spacesuit?  
Me: Sleight of hand.  
Amaya: *blinks* What?)

Bara: I didn't want to do that before I figured out why he brought me all this way to show me a useless canister of deadly viruses. Ah, I'll figure it out. It's what I do. *climbs back up the ladder, leaving Dickinson's body and the canister still in the room. As he walks away, he accidentaly leaves the manhole open. From the manhole we can hear slurping and gargling sounds as the alien starts to do... something, I'm not sure what, but it _can't _be good*

TO BE CONTINUED...

Me: *turns off annoying radio, which long since finished the Mission Impossible theme and was starting on an ad for a furniture sale* That enough Kurama for you?  
Amaya: Yes, very! ^^ Thank you so much!  
Me: Now, I need to go to 4-H.  
Amaya: What, that thing where you sit around for two hours, then decide who'll bring drinks next time?  
Me: Just about, except that there's this boy there. ^^ Well, two boys.  
Amaya: Which one do you like?  
Me: Um, haven't really decided, heh heh.  
Amaya: Jerk.  
Me: Well, one likes photography and the other likes anime.  
Amaya: Then go for the anime one! Now that that's settled, write the next chapter!  
Me: Maybe later. Bye!  
Amaya: KURAMA!!!


End file.
